He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize