I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
