Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
