She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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