with your own penis?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
