So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
