but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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