He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
