i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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