so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
