I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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