The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
