pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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