I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
