how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
