I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
