Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
