You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
