your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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