I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
