So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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