Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize