4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
