Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
