I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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