Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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