butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
