Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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