the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize