I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
