You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
