Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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