i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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