By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
