At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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