office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
