I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
