I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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