i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
