What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
