This is not my ceiling
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
