Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
