He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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