I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
