How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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