You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize