if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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