I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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