We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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