Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
