Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
