Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
