I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
