Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
