I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
