TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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