Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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