Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Drake has all the answers
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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