I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
